So, last night I heard an amazing message concerning the disciple Peter. I was taking notes upon notes in my cell phone when, in the middle of my 6th page, my phone died. I then said, “OK, God, let everything You say through him stick in my heart.” It did.
See, I didn’t respond to the alter call. What I wanted was to go home and just be with Him.
As I listened to this man speak, my heart was just leaping inside. To truly grasp that my heart is sincere AND my flesh is weak was incredible. And to know that God still remains the same regardless was even more incredible. All my life I have had this picture in my head that, when I sin, God becomes this disappointed Father in heaven. His child has messed up. His daughter gave in to temptation. In my mind, there is no reconciliation or resurrection from failing. And, so, I continue in a world of guilt, shame, and rejection.
I have had it completely wrong my whole life. Somewhere deep inside me I knew this already but refused to accept it’s truth. God is not a God that we should hide from Him. He is love. He is perfect peace. He is strength. Somewhere, in the middle of life, we have embedded it in our minds that when we fill we are in trouble and need help we ought to run FROM God instead of TO Him. We think somehow we will fix our problems on our own. We have really convinced ourselves that we can. This is SO INCORRECT!
OUR HELP is in the name of the LORD. We cannot do a single thing without Him. I, for the last 15 years or so, have tried doing everything myself. When I know I hear from God about doing something, I try and make it happen on MY terms. Everything was WHEN I, HOW I, WHAT I, WHO I, WHERE I, etc. It was all on my terms with MY rules.
Deep in my soul, in my spirit, I have grasped that I DO NOTHING without consulting my heavenly Father FIRST. I must HEAR Him, TRUST Him, and OBEY Him. I cannot hold on to my situations and come up with solutions myself. I must let go and let God do it. I follow what HE WANTS and HOW He wants to do it. Not my will but HIS.
What amazing revelation this has been! Mmm, I enjoy God so much!!
